Jokes on the Slate, to raise the laugh,
Are hitherto one-sided.
Upon the other (half-and-half !)
I’ve written and derided.
I.
One ray, at last, of penetrating light,
Hath pierced the darkness of our mental night.
So simple all supreme discoveries are !
But this is the supremest, simplest, far—
The only one in all the world who knew.
The young man made his juvenile début ;
He came, saw, conquered, Cæsar-like, elate !
Let him be crowned, then, Seizer of the Slate !
II.
A young man to the Barber’s went,
And did the Shaver seize, and
Charged him with barbarous intent
To cut the young man’s weasand.
“’Tis useless to deny the fact;
In vain you threat or pray, Sir !
I swear I caught you in the act;
Your hand teas on the razor ! ”
III.
’Tis trickery, So you needn’t “ try
The spirits,”—fatal reason why.
The case is in a nutshell curled.
Crack it. There is no spirit world.
IV.
So clever, confident, and young,
’Twere just as well had he been hung !
“ Good heavens ! What has the young man done ? ”
Married .... to .... Mrs. Partington !
She met the Ocean with a Mop ;
He tried the other world to stop.
V.
The apostle bade us “try the spirits,”
And judge them fairly, on their merits ;
But did not clear instructions give
For catching things so fugitive
As spirits, in the Lawyer’s sieve ;
And, possibly, he might retort,
“ I didn't mean at Bow Street Court !”