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| item =2 | | item =2 | ||
| type = poem | | type = poem | ||
| status = | | status = ok | ||
| continues = | | continues = | ||
| author =Massey, Jerald | | author = Massey, Jerald | ||
| title =Epigrams | | title = Epigrams | ||
| subtitle = | | subtitle = | ||
| untitled = | | untitled = | ||
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}} | }} | ||
... | {{Style P-Poem|poem=Jokes on the Slate, to raise the laugh, | ||
Are hitherto one-sided. | |||
Upon the other (half-and-half !) | |||
I’ve written and derided. | |||
<center>I.</center> | |||
One ray, at last, of penetrating light, | |||
Hath pierced the darkness of our mental night. | |||
So simple all supreme discoveries are ! | |||
But this is the supremest, simplest, far— | |||
The only one in all the world who knew. | |||
The young man made his juvenile ''début'' ; | |||
He came, saw, conquered, Cæsar-like, elate ! | |||
Let him be crowned, then, Seizer of the Slate ! | |||
<center>II.</center> | |||
A young man to the Barber’s went, | |||
And did the Shaver seize, and | |||
Charged him with barbarous intent | |||
To cut the young man’s weasand. | |||
''“’Tis useless to deny the fact; | |||
In vain you threat or pray, Sir ! | |||
I swear I caught you in the act; | |||
Your hand teas on the razor ! ”'' | |||
<center>III.</center> | |||
’Tis trickery, So you needn’t “ try | |||
The spirits,”—fatal reason why. | |||
The case is in a nutshell curled. | |||
Crack it. ''There is no spirit world.'' | |||
<center>IV.</center> | |||
So clever, confident, and young, | |||
’Twere just as well had he been hung ! | |||
''“ Good heavens ! What has the young man done ? ”'' | |||
Married .... to .... Mrs. Partington ! | |||
She met the Ocean with a Mop ; | |||
He tried the other world to stop. | |||
<center>V.</center> | |||
The apostle bade us “''try the spirits'',” | |||
And judge them fairly, on their merits ; | |||
But did not clear instructions give | |||
For catching things so fugitive | |||
As spirits, in the Lawyer’s sieve ; | |||
And, possibly, he might retort, | |||
“ ''I didn't mean at Bow Street Court !''”}} | |||